A Growing Family

All the children were curious and good learners.

Sara had grown into a beautiful and ambitious young woman. Her grades were excellent, and she accepted a part-time position in a law office. Even though money was very important to her—not surprising after her hand-to-mouth childhood—she insisted on putting almost all of her paychecks toward household expenses. For the first time in years, the Freebornes had a few new things—well, new to them—they still did their shopping at the Goodwill store. They purchased three mismatched chairs, and a battered old chess set, which provided the children with hours of fun. Alicia gave it a try, but found the rules confusing and complicated, so soon gave up.

Watching her daughter go off to work in her second-hand business clothes, Alicia was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions.

Of course she was proud of her girl, how could she not be?

Yet, another part of her felt small and inferior. Why was it so easy for her daughter to learn new things, to venture out into the world, to succeed? It wasn’t just in books that Sara excelled—she was quick to try out new skills around the house, as well. She seemed so sure that she could learn anything, try anything, and be successful.

Robbie, too, was always coming home with new ideas, new thoughts, and always learning something new. Maren was a live wire, filled with enthusiasm, friends with everyone. Compared to her children, Alicia thought, she was a failure. After all, what had she done with her own life? Here she was, already in her thirties, and she’d never finished school, never held a job—perhaps Richard had been right in his assessment of her.

Finally, she couldn’t hide her depression from the older children any more. She’d been spending more and more time in her room, sleeping or just lying dully on the bed, and they confronted her to ask what was wrong. When she explained about what a failure her life had been, though, the teens astonished her with their vehement denials.

“You’re our best friend, Mom!” Sara exclaimed. “Without you, we wouldn’t be a family. Somehow, you’ve kept us together, put food on the table, given us all the love and advantages you never had yourself. We know how hard you’ve worked, and we love you more than anything! You can do anything you want to--we'll help you! You just have to try.”

With the encouragement of her family, Alicia found the courage to start moving forward in her own life. Now that Maren was in school much of the day, it was possible for her to enroll in adult classes, and start to make progress on finishing her own studies. The work was hard for her, but she persisted. Thanks to an observant teacher, she discovered that she suffered from dyslexia—it made such a difference to her, to realize that her struggles with school and with reading weren’t due to stupidity, but to a learning disorder. The adult school staff helped her work on strategies to make it easier for her to learn the materials she needed to know.

She scanned the job ads, too, and found the courage to call and to go in for interviews. Unfortunately, she really wasn’t qualified for anything, and she had almost given up hope when one of the adult school teachers asked her if she’d be interested in teaching some aerobics and fitness classes at the adult school. Eagerly, she said yes, and headed off for work with butterflies of excitement in her stomach. Since she was still hiding from Richard, though, she was careful to give a made-up social security number to the school.

She had only been working for a couple of weeks, though, when she injured her ankle in class one day. Determined not to be a quitter, she tried desperately to finish the class, but ended up collapsing in front of her students. Paramedics had to be called, Workman’s Comp and the State Bureau of Labor got involved, and the principal of the adult school was furious at her poor judgment. When they checked her file, they discovered the fictitious social security number, as well. After a painful scene in the principal’s office, Alicia was fired.

She almost gave up after that, feeling that she couldn’t possibly return to class after such humiliation. But somehow, she found enough courage to go in to see her favorite teacher. Taking a deep breath, she explained her situation for the first time, talking about the years of verbal and physical abuse at Richard’s hands, and about her struggles to care for her children and to make something of herself. The teacher was moved by her story and promised to intercede with the Principal on her behalf. After a lot of discussion, the Principal agreed to give her a second chance—on condition, of course, that she correct the information in her file.

With her heart in her mouth, Alicia visited the Legal Aid office and requested assistance in filing for divorce. It took every ounce of courage she had to put the completed forms into the mail, knowing that now Richard would be able to track them down. Could she keep her family safe? Or would he be able to dominate her as he had always done before? Soon she would find out.